Life is increasingly hard for me lately
I don’t know what I’m trying to hold it still, something I wanna keep for me
Is that my pride? Or my arrogance? I don’t know, really I am
I spent a lot of stuff for nothing, nothing I know, nothing I get, nothing at all
I feel funny myself, sometimes I feel sorry but most of the time, my anger is above of everything, I disgust my self, that is the truth
What kind of people I am?
The question is slipping through my mind frequently and I still have no answer yet,
No, not I don’t have but I’m afraid to face my self when finally I know who really I am
Between the dream and reality
I think I’m unable to make the difference
I can’t tell people which the dream and reality is, not only to the other but also to my self
I split my self into dream or reality, in fact I do like living in the dream
I’m afraid people would underestimate if they know me deeper. That’s the reason I’m stay hiding and created my own way for living
I don’t want they coming closer, I don’t wanna get involve with everything, because I thought, I’d be thousands times better if I’m stay away
But now, I think to the other way round, it solve nothing, give me a lot of trouble, though
And after all the time I have been through with secret and lies, I’ve no idea how to fix this, how to make my life real and how to enjoy it without any fear
I keep wondering, where is my turning point so I’d back to the truth, speak what really I feel, open up my life, spread my hands wide welcoming and living in the normal way
What a nice if I’d do that
I wish someday, I have enough bravery to understand people and let them knowing me
That’s my one and biggest wish


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