I made this post as b’day present to my self actually, having struggle with my book publishing and fail with my deadline I came into my laptop and found this articles and for CNBLUE’s 1000 days debut anniversary. It seems that I’m too bias to Jonghyun, for I have never think who my bias is as I always follow them as CNBLUE. I fell into this story right after I read the part 1 and curious what next Jonghyun will write. When it finally published into 3 part I always wonder whether I can read this without jump to the another pages. This story, aside telling what Jonghyun had ever felt about his first ever drama, also telling within CNBLUE it selves. I never tired to read to their story as many things I can learn from them. in fact it was them too who lead me into this far. For all I have achieved in the recent 3 years and for I fail too.
Here the complete story based from Jonghyun had written himself .
WHAT ‘s COLLIN UP TO?
CNBLUE’s Lee Jong Hyun’s career can be divided into before and after “A Gentleman’s Dignity,” which recently wrapped on SBS. Lee Jong Hyun played Jang Dong Gun’s son Colin, and that’s how people began to know him. He had been known to their teenage fans but hadn’t really had a chance to appeal to the elder audiences before.
The following writing is a recounting in Lee Jong Hyun’s own words.
It’s almost been a month since I parted ways with Colin. The disappointment that was left at departing is now changing into a strange longing but I haven’t been able to let him go just yet. He’ll probably be in a corner of my conscience for the rest of my life. The anxiety that took me when I first met him is now become a very precious memory.
When I look back, sometimes I think, “I could have done it better,” and I also think, “Perhaps if I had enjoyed the ride a little more, Colin could have been a better character.”
Colin, who gave me great memories, opportunities for future challenges and many other things, is my unforgettable friend.
1. Stubborn Lee Jong Hyun
I was a member of the band that had no interest in acting and especially within CNBLUE. Even when Jung Yong Hwa and Kang Min Hyuk had started, I never think about it. Is it because I have an accent? No, I never fixed myaccent because I never wanted to act.
I had a strange stubbornness for the phrase, ‘Once a singer, is always a singer.’ Even when my company suggested acting, I said, “I only want to sing.” I only wanted to show people the Lee Jong Hyun in the songs and on the stage. But Colin was the one who won over me. An amazing dude!
I only went back on my word because Colin was a very attractive character. My management CEO left a script of “A Gentleman’s Dignity,” I found it so fun that I couldn’t wait to see what the next story would be.
However, stubborn me couldn’t just say, “I want to do this.” I instead took on the role as if I couldn’t refuse them any longer, even though I really wanted to do it. If I had kept on being stubborn, I might have really regretted my decision.
The stuff came quite difficult right after I said, “I do.” What was I going to do with my Busan accent? I even thought of perhaps giving up but Jung Yong Hwa said I’d regret it for entire of my life , so I took that to heart.
2. Deciding to be Colin
Regretting things later is absolutely useless. I made up my mind to do it and auditioned for the role. It wasn’t easy as there were a lot of competitors and the camera test wasn’t simple. However, the crew, who were looking for a more westernized image for the character, liked me. Happiness aside, this was the real deal. I had to fix my accent and I had to practice.
However, when the time came, there was nothing I couldn’t do and it was the first time that I thought people can really do anything they put their mind to. 6 months is long if you make it long and short if you make it short. I was able to conquer my accent and though it may be slightly awkward for those raised in Seoul, it was a huge improvement for someone like me.
Minus the accent, I prepared myself to become Colin. I put in my best to figure out how I would be able to make Colin the best that he could be.
Then there was the problem of acting. I had never received training when I had just getting rid of my accent. Jong Hyun! What have you done??
Up to the very first day of shooting, I focused on to Colin. I never let my script out of my sight and as the day approached, everything was putting pressure on me. I worried if I would be a burden for the production, which I didn’t want at all. Thanks to that, I lost 6-7kg of weight and my skin became worse as I began to have lack of sleep and rest. I wanted to appear on TV at my best condition but alas, it could not be so.
As the anxiety began to fade away, D-Day finally came around.
AM I LOVE INTRUDER?
April 12TH was the very first day of “A Gentleman’s Dignity” filming and I was eagerly anticipating it. It was at a club in Itaewon and it was my first time meeting Kim Haneul sunbaenim. I couldn’t help my trembling heart as I saw her right in front of my eyes, reporting at the filming set since I was very impressed with her acting in the movie, ‘My Tutor Friend’.
On the other side, I kept telling myself “oh, finaly it has started..”
I was holding on my heart and saying that I was already prepared. Everything was in a different environment, an unfamiliar ‘stage’, but thanks to the staff and sunbaenims, we were able to safely finish the first shoot. It seemed like I looked very awkward on TV when I act, but I calmed myself down saying “slowly it will get better soon”.
It was a day when everything was new, and it’s also the first time I ‘met’ Collin.
1. This Is An Honor Again?
Rushed to shoot in earnest, I had to face one sunbaenim after another. Jang Donggun, Kim Haneul, Kim Sooroo, Lee Jonghyuk, Park Joo Mi sunbaenims and so on. For I only heard their names before, I could not help but letting out “Wow~” as I was awed being able to act together with these sunbaenims, it was surreal to me.
Filming other than what was in the script and what we had practiced was almost impossible to me. From time to time, during the break the new script was revealed. I even had to practice acting with company’s manager! Then it changed from manager to Jang Donggun sunbaenims, then sometimes it was Meahri who became my partner. As usual in my head, it was all about Collin.
The details of each scene were made easy by the sunbaenims and they offered to teach me during filming, since there were many unfamiliar and difficult scene. The sunbaenims’ advices were like a “treasure” to me. Especially the gang of 4 gentlemen, these sunbaenims gave me tips on how to gaze, to control my tone of voice and many more. They will be laughing at me when I was being awkward. My first acting experience had given me such great strength, thanks to their help.
When the drama was going towards in the middle episodes, it was the time for me to act thoroughly. Facial expression, bitter-ish act, longing glaze were basically what I had to do. When I was worried about “how can I express what’s in Collin’s heart”, Jang Donggun sunbaenim gave me a big help.
As I was still struggling with my character, the director’s described it to me and even though I understood it , my heart was not at ease. It was Jang Donggun sunbaenim who would always reach out his hand for me first. Sunbaenim’s character outside the drama is much cooler than what we see in the drama. It’s really sweet because he gave me the feeling that he being my real father. One day Jang Donggun sunbaenim told me, “It would be nice if my son Junhyeok is a big as you are right now”, and I was flattered. In fact, sunbaenim even asked me to call him ‘hyung’ instead of ‘sunbaenim’. He gave me such a comfortable feeling and great joy and I was so fortunate for that.
Kim Sooroo sunbaenim knows how to spread the happy virus to everyone and made us laugh. Thanks to sunbaenim that had made the atmosphere within the filming set always sparkling.
Next is, Kim Minjong sunbaenim. Can he described as the warmth crystals? He was the most famous among the staff and actors and always being nice. He’s 120% the same like his drama character Choi Yoon!! He’s an attractive man, one that you can’t look away if you happened to be next to him. Lee Jonghyuk sunbaenim is known for his meticulous acting. He gave me a very big help during the filming and I was always grateful for that.
Not only the four senior actors but I was also thankful to each of the drama crew. When I see all those great people I worked with, I couldn’t help but to vow that “I’ll be as great like them too”.
And not forgetting, Meahri!! To be honest, before the shoot I was wondering if I should prepare in case there’s a “love-line” for me (with Meahri) in this drama but since I’m Choiyoon-Meahri couple supporter too, so I pass! Besides, Yoon Ji Yin who’s playing Meahri is the same age as me. So, we had the cuteness of the scene that we had together. Haha. And since this was the first drama for both of us, we supported each other.
I remind myself that “I’m able to be with such wonderful and great actors”,and for that I keep on being thankful.
2. My Appearance on TV
The first shooting began and about one month after the broadcast start!
“Ah~ now a lot of people will see my face..” just thinking about that made me shake. The first “A Gentleman’s Dignity” episode was aired on May 26 at 9.55 pm. Even though I did not appear in the first episode, my heart was at ease. Haha. It was really fun for me because I wonder what the viewers were expecting for the next episode.
And once again, I feel honored to be in such a good drama. In addition, we received the overwhelming response from the viewers since the first episode and so my respect for the seniors grew.
Now that the show is airing, my heart is going ‘dugeun degeun’. Half excited, half scared, I have found ‘another me’ in Collin.
I started to appear regularly in the drama starting from episode 3. Actually, CNBLUE members discuss with each other about the drama and they give comments. Even if it made me slightly hurt, I was thankful. We’re close, so they pointed things out honestly. Truthfully, that makes me work harder. I would be even more nervous if they only said good things. Haha.
But of course there’s pain too. Ah~ rather than saying it’s painful, I take those as advice. Criticism from viewers who had watched the drama. Of course, it’s logical that I get such comments, so it has become a great help to me.
Thank you to everyone. For all the advices and criticism, I am thankful. From the advices given, I was able to see myself from a different angle and able to understand my feelings better.
Although it’s difficult, I know that there are things that I regret. Instead, I’ll keep up with my work and I’ll do my best to deliver a good appearance someday, so just wait a little bit for it. Because there is no other way, I will work hard.
Especially as I am stuck in between Dojin (played by Jang Donggun) and Yisoo (played by Kim Haneul), as their ‘love intruder’. No wonder they hate me. Hahaha.
One thought after another came to me as we shoot the drama. “How is my performance?” My gratitude towards Collin, who beats the odd gradually growing.
What more, my parents like the fact that Lee Jonghyun, by using the name Collin, is getting more famous. My mother hid me all these while because it was difficult to describe her son, CNBLUE‘s Lee Jonghyun. Haha. However, now it’s easier to explain by using ‘Collin‘ and she’s happy about it. I will put more effort in the future to make them proud to have me as their son.
I feel sad towards the end of the drama. The Olympics Games broadcast had caused the drama to be postponed for a week and a thought came up that I wished the postponement would continue.
It seems that both acting and music are the same and completely different too. There are many different ways to express my feelings. Acting experiences has helped fill the emptiness in my music.
So, little by little, I understand. Upon accepting this drama, the CEO told me, “acting will be a great help to your music.”
To be able to convey feelings to someone, it was very difficult but at the same time, it was a very interesting experience.
This way, I got to know ‘the taste of acting’ by becoming Collin and I began to have acting goals instead of just singing.
Who is Collin to me? A new friend. He’s another part of me. For a while, we played and had fun together, I will always miss that friend. Eum.. in the future, when I look back on this experience, there might be things that I will regret but I will never forget Collin, my friend.
CHEER TO CNBLUE’S ETERNAL FRIENDSHIP!!
“We also want to be like the 4 (AGD) Gentlemen”
Quartet boy band CNBLUE. There’s Jung Yonghwa, the leader and the main vocalist, bassist Lee Jungshin, drummer Kang Minhyuk and there’s me, the guitarist. We debuted in 2010 and this is our third year together.
As the time passes by, the members get to know each other well and we support each other like brothers.
Me as Collin, and Minhyuk as “My Husband Got A Family” Segwang, who were the busiest. Yonghwa Hyung was given time to rest. In the past, we were the ones who waited for Yonghwa Hyung to come home but now it’s the opposite. Yonghwa Hyung would be sending message “I’m alone..it’s lonely”, mixed with complains and funny jokes, and he’s the person that is proud the seeing us doing well.
Yonghwa is the brother who is always ,full of spirit. Even though the work he’s doing is hard, he rarely expressed what he feels towards us, his younger brothers. I feel reassured at the thought of having such a strong older brother.
The person that played the biggest role in letting people know who CNBLUE is of course Yonghwa Hyung. He made CNBLUE known not only just by singing on the stages but also by acting in dramas and appearing in variety shows. He’s always tired when he comes back to the dorm but he never failed to put on a smiling face to the younger brothers. I always feel sorry when I see his smile but at the same time I am always thankful to him. My personality is blunt and therefore I don’t express my feelings well, but in my heart he’s always there. Yonghwa Hyung, thank you.
Jungshin and Minhyuk, my two younger brothers are the same too. You are a treasure to me and what we have cannot be changed.
Minhyuk and Jungshin, being the youngest in the team, it must have been difficult. Sometimes it must have been hard for you two guys because there are times when the older brothers would be complaining, but the two of you are very matured and for that, I thank you. The drama made us spend less time talking to each other, especially Minhyuk. He had a very busy schedule and spent all his time filming his drama.
But because of that, our relationship grew stronger. Then one day Minhyuk said to me that he wanted us to be like the 4 gentlemen from “A Gentleman’s Dignity“. It seemingly he was just saying it, but actually he was serious. I’ve also thought about it, so I was moved.
Not only the two of us but the other members felt the same way after watching “A Gentleman’s Dignity“.
“Let’s live like those four gentlemen,” we said.
It would be great if the four of us in CNBLUE could grow up to be great men, just like the four gentlemen with our long and close relationship that we can flaunt of as we live together.
We lived together before the debut, especially in Japan where there was no one else but ourselves to turn to, we get deeply attached to each other. That’s why the members think that I won’t have any problem acting as Collin in the drama. Since I was also busy filming during the week, so we only meet about 2 or 3 days a week. Before, when I always see them every day, I don’t really feel the importance of having them by my side. So, every weekend we would all get together and had our bonding time. Usually, we would joke around and since we don’t meet each other for a long time, I’m glad that instead, we stayed in one room and played together. Even though I don’t show it, but deep down inside “I’m really happy”, that’s what I feel.
After Minhyuk‘s drama and my drama finished airing, the four of us really wanted to spend time together but the baton of acting was then passed to Jungshin. He had been practicing a lot and seems to be tensed a lot like I did before, but I hope he will do well. Lee Jungshin hwaiting!
And the same goes to the other members of CNBLUE. In the future, just like what we are right now, we’ll build up good memories and we’ll look forward to the day when we will not only be known in Korea but also as the world’s leading band.
Music Runs In My Blood
I quit being involved in sports during my high school years, from then on I started doing music. Being alone as a kid, there was a lot of time for me to think. My parents were both working, so during those time I thought of several ideas and later set up a plan.
The momentum was from there. I made a concrete plan in order to persuade my parents. The educational approach in our house was “take care of yourself”, so I had to be very cautious since I would be responsible for all the things I did.
In fact, the first time I said I wanted to do music, my parents didn’t like it. So, in the mean time, my mom and dad left me and asked to thinking of what I look forward for if I continue in wishing to become a singer and planned about my decision. In short, it’s like a briefing for my future. Silently, my parents started to trust me. From then on I had to try my best for the sake of the faith and trust my parents have given to me.
Music. I had to really practice it, since I started later than the others. I tried my best when I’m at the academy. These days, it’s still the same. If someone complimented me by saying “you’re really good”, I will just shake my head. “I still have a long way to go”, that’s what I think.
When I started acting, I felt like music still fills the void that acting cannot, that’s why music is something that I can’t neglect. Acting is something that I need to finish once I started but music is my lifetime companion.
In my mind I wanted to do my best while filming for “A Gentleman’s Dignity”, so in order to do that I had to practice a lot and I cut my sleeping time. Naturally, I also had to cut down the time for my guitar and singing practice.
That was quite stressful for me. This was something that I have always insist on doing, it’s one of my daily routines, which was practicing together with the members. I would be practicing together with the members until 12 in the midnight, and the next day I had to shoot early in the morning. My body was a bit tired, but my mind was a bit relaxed and it still seems more alive. While I attained the energy for the next day, music was my driving force.
I really think that I need to do music steadily. Since I had to practice 4-5 hours a day, my mind is focused on music, so I will continue to do it in the future.
My craving for music deepens from the aspirations that we got through our street performances in Japan.
Our street performances in Japan had pushed our dream that we had before our debut. Physically and mentally we were very dense, but we did our best towards “the dream”. Those days, if it weren’t for the passion of music; we wouldn’t have this kind of great friendship between us.
I play guitar and would only do the chorus part from behind Yonghwa Hyung’s vocal. But all of the sudden I had to stand in place of the main vocalist on behalf of Yonghwa Hyung. Hyung was sent back to Korea at that time to shoot for a drama, leaving only Minhyuk, Jungshin and me. The three of us had to schedule all the performances in Japan and had to continue everything. The position was completely longer and for the first time I was feeling puzzled and even scared. The members and I couldn’t believe that we managed to get through that.
Because of that opportunity, I was able to grow more in terms of music. Particularly for my vocal, and I made my own songs that makes me looked desirous. It’s really valuable to be able to tell things in making good songs. When someone is comforted through my songs, I’m touched. That was what made me really happy and this feeling is impossible to be replaced.
At first when we started our street performances, no one was looking forward for it. It’s an empty street. But we tried to gather fans, little by little until a few thousand seats filled in a large scale venue. Without them there would be no CNBLUE, and I won’t even be here as Lee Jonghyun.
I think that CNBLUE can still be here till today because of our fans who love our music. Starting from Asia Tour, we went to Los Angeles in the US and now we have performed in as far as in the UK. The day has finally come, as it has always been our wish to play instruments and have our voices heard at the Home of Rock. From the start we have always been grateful and I will do my best over the time to become a band that will be loved for many people.
CNBLUE Lee Jonghyun will always try to give the best. Hwaiting!!
CN Jonghyun – Thanks for reading all this while! ♥
Disclaimer:
The original post by @cnbstorm, the first part was posted by burning voice while the other two parts by fizzy all @cnbstorm. And definately all the credits goes to them. I re-posted here just because I want to read this story without jumping to the another pages. Since I never see or read the korean version ( even if I have, I’m afraid that I understand nothing! ), so I try to stick with CNBLUESTORM’s version. Small edited I was done for my style of reading only. Not forgetting to Fizzy that let me compile this wonderful and touching articles.
To anyone who see I put improper credit just reach me @tara_lee26 and let me know. I will fix it immediately.
Thank You
Written By: CNBLUE Lee JongHyun
Edited by Hwang YongHee ( Issue Daily Director)
Translation Credits: kpopstarz
Translation Credits: CNBLUEBEAT
Kor-Eng Editor: fizzy @ cnbluestorm
Photo Credits: FNC Ent, SBS Ent, Naver etc
Posted By @tara_lee26
bpb decoded 